In my first entry about the word "we," I argued using the words "We decided to…" often create ambiguity. I suggested asking yourself several questions to reduce ambiguity either when you hear those words or when you are about to say them.
In this entry, I will lay out the case for when using the words "We decided to…" is completely appropriate and the use of other words is inappropriate.
Recall a situation when a team you were a member of made a decision that an outsider wouldn’t like; for instance, I was a member of a team who decided to prevent an outsider, Margaret, from video recording a training class she would be leading. I didn’t like the decision.
Margaret is a close friend. I like helping her. I knew she would call me and ask me what happened. I pondered my choices.
I could say, "The team decided that video recording was something that they didn’t want." But wasn’t I a member of the team? Didn’t I participate in the discussion? Didn’t I have the power to veto the decision? My mind had clear answers, "Yes." "Yes." "Yes."
I could say, "Although I didn’t agree with the decision, the team decided to…" It took a nanosecond for my mind to snap back, "Baloney."
The appropriate choice was to take ownership of the decision and say, "We decided to not allow video recording for your training session or anyone else’s. We believe video recording will create safety issues for the participants of the class."
Ask yourself whether you can say, "We decided to…" with conviction about tough decisions made by teams you consider yourself a member of. If you can’t, perhaps your team needs help creating a decision process that will allow you and the other members of the team to use those words. I can help. Contact me.
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